Mel Crout

© Mel Crout 2005

I was beautiful once

I’ve stood here a thousand times, a thousand million times, me a wreck of the thing I use to be. Why am I standing here, in this twilight? Is there no REST?

I’ve been standing here for over a millennia. I’ve seen it all. Monks, fire, war and love, HA! Love that’s why I’m stuck in this Godforsaken place, me a lady of nobility from an age when knights still walked the earth. Now I’m reduced to rattling chains like a commoner.

Where has my love gotten me? Hell- that’s where, I’m sick of wandering here never able to feel the sun on my face or the grass between my toes. Always to wear my death robes. Alone but not really alone…. sometimes I like to let them see me. What are they called? Oh yessssss ssstudents. Common laggards. That’s what they are. Lazy, evil good-for-naughts. In my lifetime I’ve seen people just like them tortured in God’s name and they’ve deserved it.

But why am I here still, after all this time? My only crime was to be lover to another while still being espoused; it’s not such an evil crime, is it? After all father had his courtesans, mother, of course, was quite happy with his “arrangements” and would say, why have a servant and beat the rug yourself? Ahahahah. Oh I was soooo young once, so full of life, happiness and I was beautiful. Cupid was said too follow me around loosening off his arrows here and there. How I would play with them, my- would be seducers! One of them even jumped to his death because me. Hee Hee, His wife and two urchins went off to theirs not long after him. Could not provide for themselves I suppose. WHAT DO I CARE of their fate!

Oh but my last lover! Now he was a sight to behold; tall, blond hair and dark-skinned. He was a wonderment. I was espoused to an old, smelly, slow man at the time and he thought of me as one of his trophies, not a person to love. I was one of his possessions, to do with as he wished. There was no love in our marriage. My fright of a husband wanted to have my likeness painted, and that’s how Jack and I came to be lovers. Oh he was so wonderful, ahhhhhh. Life was good then simple and sensual with a wild passion that made me ache when I would but look upon his skin, shimmering in the moonlight, oh and how he………..

But my husband whom I thought slow, came upon us one night. Jack and I were in the throws of a passion so great the neither of us heard him until it was too late. Jack died that night of his wounds and I was stoned later that day for my adulterous ways. All I can remember is seeing a redness and then I was standing here, standing on this staircase. I hate these stairs. WHY AM I HERE? I cannot even go to the place where my dear Jack passed. I’m bound inside always. Sometimes I think I hear Jack calling to me, but then the other voice overruns his and I am almost driven mad by it. I’m then lost to fear and dread for hours. If this is hell I wonder where heaven is and how do I get there, if I can get there at all. No I think I am dammed to wander the Abbey for all eternity, waiting, wanting, screaming!!!

At least I do like to scream, to scare those vile sstuddents to feel their fear and see them running for their lives. If only they knew that the more terrified they become the more succour they give me.

AHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh to see their fear. To feel it force within me, filling me up, I relish it. Ah, at last the sun is fully down. So I am free to wander the halls and see what tasty morsel comes my way tonight. Oooooooh! I hope it will be the smaller ssssstudents here tonight. I do like the younger ones they seem to scare more easily. Now I wonder will I scream or moan tonight. I suppose I’ll wait and see what frightens them the most Hee Hee. OH I doooooo hope it’s the younger ones tonight. They are so tasty and they don’t run as fast as the older ones. Even with these chains I can still catch them. If I could smell them it would be easier I think, but that’s another part of my punishment. Knowing my luck it will be the ones that call themselves adults. Now they are bothersome, as they don’t want to believe their eyes and I hate to have to work harder than I have to. Oh well, only one way to find out I suppose………….

  The End.

Dreamspeaker of the Common Horse

There she stands and she stands alone

For the next few hours this will be home

As M’rui awaits in this water so deep

She is unlocking her power to open the gate

For she is the dreamspeaker of the common horse

Leadmare and law teacher now there is a job.

So calmly and slowly she watches the moon

As it sends down a pathway M’uri must walk it alone

On this eve of battle no other must see

As she walks the dreamroads to set her common free

Then as she listens to the wings on the wind

The great roar of the legions is coming to bear

But softly and slowly she walks along and sees the wars ending will not be long

So as we leave her we must pass away back to our time where there’s no time to pray

Now and forever she will be