Roy Taylor

© Roy Taylor 2005

The Mirror

I stand there observing a man in his mid-thirties. He looks like me, but older, a simple man with simple needs, who never asked for to much from life. I’ve seen him before but never like this. He never really had it good, but he used to be a lot happier. He used to be the life and soul of the party, but then life really has kicked him in the teeth. There are tears running down his cheek, his eyes are sore from the stinging that’s caused by the friction of an hour worth of pulling his sleeves across his face. He looks terrible.

His reflection seems twisted and contorted in a way that resembles a photograph burning on a winter fire. So much pain, so much anguish; He doesn’t recall another time when he had felt hurt like this. More tears appear, like twinkling stars, bursting and cascading along the same lines that the last ones left. Except they move much quicker, gliding along the residue on his skin. They manage to release themselves from the face that tried hard to imprison them, before the next ones form and repeat the seemingly, never-ending process.

His breathing is sporadic and heavy now, almost panting, as he raises an already sodden tissue towards his streaming nose and tries to force out all that has collected in his numb, nasal passages. His lips and cheeks seem to move freely from the rest of his image. He’s trembling like he did when he was a child and the tears just keep on flowing.

Inside that aching head on his shoulders is nothing but fear and dread, sorrow and maybe a small amount of hatred. He wants to scream out, but there’s no-one to call out to. No-one would come, he’s alone and nobody cares. He knows he won’t be missed. There’s no-one to miss him.

 He considers his options. What’s the best way to do it, rope? Pills, maybe or jump?

“Fuck it! Fuck it all! I really, really can’t take it anymore!”

He places his head in his hands, wondering what had he done wrong! How did he come to deserve to feel this way! Was his life doomed from the start? I think so.

And there it is; a knock at the door, almost instantaneously the tears stop. He doesn’t want to look a fool when he answers it. He hurries to make himself look the part, face to sink, towel to face, as if to make it look like a normality.

If nothing else, it gives him a brief respite from the breakdown he is suffering, but he knows it won’t last. “Give it two minutes and whoever is at the door will be gone” he thinks to himself. Knowing that as soon as they leave the tears and the trembling will start again. How long could he wear that brave face, before the vice that was crushing his heart did its job? He knew the next time somebody knocked at the door, there would be no-one to answer it!

Do you have a Cat? Cat!

Do you have a cat? Cat!

How funny that could be, I must inform you of the possibilities.

Your cat would have a cat flap Cat, you could even buy a cat mat Cat a cat hat Cat and a cat mac Cat.

You could feed your cat on Kit-e-Kat Cat, or best of all you could call your cat Catrina Cat.

If you called your cat Catrina Cat, then its name would be shortened to Cat, Cat.

If you take your surname into consideration and shortened that too, then you would be known as Cat Mac and this would make your cat called Cat, Cat; Cat Mac.

Do you see the confusion about to unfold; you would have a cat called Cat Mac just like you.

If you bought your cat a cat mac Cat, then one would have to say that Cat Mac's cat with the cat mac is called Cat Mac.

If your cat was fed on Kit-e-Kat Cat, then it would be said that you have a Kit-e-Kat Cat called Cat Mac!

What if you called it Kitty? Cat! You would have a Kitty cat that ate Kit-e-Kat Cat.

Now you could call it Malcolm, Cat, a short form of Malcolm is Mac, Cat. Then your cat would be Mac Mac Cat or Mac Mac the cat, Cat.

You might end up with a ditty like this:

That Cat Mac has a cat called Mac.

It’s a Kit-e-Kat cat with a small cat flap.

That cat called Mac has a cat hat too

And a cat mat Cat that was bought by you,

It’s a cat, Cat Mac called Mac Mac cat,

It’s a Kitty cat Cat, that Mac Mac cat.

It’s all so confusing, so if you ever need a pet,

Buy yourself a dog, for a cat you may regret!